Busybody Reports


Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

"Hi-de-ho everybody. This is Michael Jay Busybody standing on the luxurious lawn of Miss Benevolent Largesse. Miss Largesse, I must say, this is the finest field of grass I believe I have ever laid my eyes upon. I suspect you have spent a great deal of money and effort toward the creation and the maintaining of this splendid lawn."

"Indeed I have Mr Busybody. To be sure a lawn of this magnitude, and this luxurious takes a great tole on my energies, my concerns, and on my finances."

"I would suspect, Miss Largesse, that your neighbors must be very proud and happy to have such an elegant display within their close proximity. I would suspect also that your efforts would cause them to be ever the more diligent toward the upkeep of their own lawn."

"You would certainly think so, wouldn't you Mr Busybody? Unfortunately, for some odd reason, this does not happen to be the fact."

"So I see Miss Largesse. I noticed as I passed through the neighborhood that the lawns in this region are surprisingly without growth or health. In fact, I might even go as far as to say your neighbor's yards have a significant barren appearance."

"Yes they do Mr Busybody. And even after all my efforts and expense to beautify this destitute neighborhood, have I received so much as a single thank you for my efforts? No Mr Busybody, all I receive are harsh words and angry glares. It's very disheartening, believe you me. But through it all, I forebear."

"I see a rather conspicuous sign posted on your lawn seeming to indicate that you are a Christian. Might I then assume that you are in fact a Christian Miss Largesse?"

"I certainly am Mr Busybody. It is a status the which I am very proud. I devote my life to being a solid example of what a Christian is all about. If you will observe my car you will see that upon it I display several Christian banners and stickers. I want everyone to know that what I am is because of Jesus, and not of my own doing."

"I must say Miss Largesse, there is no mistaking who you desire to take the responsibility of your efforts."

"Indeed Mr Busybody."

"It occurs to me, Miss Largesse, that this fine network of sprinklers that you have providing such an abundance of water must have set you back a pretty penny. Am I correct in my assumption?"

"Yes indeed Mr Busybody. And not only do the sprinklers and the maintenance cost me a small fortune, but so does the water that this elegant lawn requires take an even larger portion of my financial reserve."

"So I see Miss Largesse. I would suspect that the amount of water these sprinklers distribute would easily fill a fairly large swimming pool. Is this not so?"

"Not just one swimming pool Mr Busybody, but closer to two, and that daily."

"My-my, Miss Largesse. That is certainly a significant amount of water. And how does this vast usage of water, the time you must invest in its upkeep, and the money so invested fit into the fact that there is a severe water shortage at this time, the high unemployment rate, and the extreme poverty level in your particular community? Might your show of neighborly concern be explained by the Christian banners and signs you so proudly display?"

22Now when Jesus heard these things, he said unto him, Yet lackest thou one thing: sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me. 23And when he heard this, he was very sorrowful: for he was very rich. 24And when Jesus saw that he was very sorrowful, he said, How hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God! 25For it is easier for a camel to go through a needle's eye, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. (Luke 18:)

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