Life with the Philistines


Honour thy father and mother

Hello all you folks out there in radio land. This is your announcer Herald Promulgate bringing you another adventure of Life with the Philistines, that normal family everybody loves to imitate. Let's look in on the Philistines and see what they're up to today, shall we?

In today's episode we find the children complaining to their father:

"I'm hungry dad. When is mom going to get up and make us supper?"

"Yeah dad. All she does is lay in bed all day and make that terrible noise. Doesn't she care about the rest of us? It's just not fair. It's not fair at all."

"Yeah dad, it 'sno fair. I'm starving and nobody'll fix us something to eat."

"What do you want from me kids? Do you want me to fix you something to eat? I just got home from work you know, and I'm dead on my feet."

"No dad, we ate your cooking before, and we was real sick. I want mom to fix us something like she always does. That's a mom's job, to feed and take care of us kids. Doesn't she love us anymore?"

"Calm down now kids. Your mother is sick and that's why she's staying in bed. The doctor told her to rest and take it easy. You kids can make yourself something to eat. You're not babies anymore."

"That's not right dad. It's mom's job to feed us, not ours. It's just not fair, that's what it is, unfair."

"Yeah, it 'sno fair. 'Sno fair at all."

"Maybe you're right kids, now that I think about it. Maybe we are being unfair to you. And if that's the case, I guess I'll just have to do something about the situation, won't I? Let me see, where is that phone book. Oh, here it is. Mmmm, yes, here's the number, nope, that's not it."

"Are you calling the pizza place dad? That's a good idea. I want cheese, but no anchovies."

"Yeah, me too, but with salami slices. But no anchovies."

"Me too dad, but no 'chovies."

"No, it's not the pizza delivery store I'm calling. Billy, that friend of yours, Harry I think you said his name was. What's the name of the orphanage he lives at, do you remember?"

"Orphanage dad? Why are you calling Harry? He doesn't have any pizzas. He hardly gets nothing to eat because there's so many kids living there. Try MacDonald's or something like that. I like tacos too."

"No Billy, I wasn't calling about food, I want to see it they have room for three mistreated kids. It's just not right for you to have to live in a house where you're not treated right. Isn't that so?"

"I don't want to go to no orphanage dad. I like it here. I just want to eat, that's all."

"Yeah dad, it 'sno fair. I want to eat pizza."

"Well, here's the number for children's services. They might have a foster home that will take three unappreciative and mistreated children. I'll try...."

"That's ok dad, I just got an idea. Come on Bobby, we got something to do."

"We do? What?"

"We're going to make some sandwiches, and take some to mom. Mom is sick you know."

"Oh, yea, sure. I forgot. What kinda samwiches we gonna make mom Billy? Peanut butter an' jelly maybe?"

"Yeah, with pickles and mustard."

"No 'chovies though. I don't like 'chovies."

"Ok, no anchovies on ours, only mom's, but lots of catchup though."

"Mmmm, yummy. I'll make me one two."

"Well Suzie, it looks like the boys have found something to do. I'll only have to find a home for one it seems."

"You can't kid me dad. I'm not an immature kid like the boys. I know you can't just call and get us put in a home. It doesn't work like that."

"You just might be right Suzie. Let's make a test case of this and see which of us is right. Here, the number is 555...."

"You're pulling my leg dad, and I'd play your little game, but I don't have time right now. I got something to do first."

"Oh, I see, something to do first. And what might that be Suzie? Do you have a date with Tommy tonight? That's two nights in a row, and you know the rules."

"Yeah dad, I know the rules. I don't have a date tonight, I just got to go do something is all."

"And what's that Suzie?"

"Mom's going to want something to go with that sandwich, like maybe a hot bowl of soup. I'm going to make her some. That's all."

"I think your mother would like that very much Suzie..... Boys, so how did your mother like the sandwich you made her? I hope it didn't make her sicker."

"I don't think so Dad. She just laid there and stared at the sandwich. I don't think she's very hungry right now."

"Wait a minute boys, where are you going in such a hurry? Aren't you going to fix yourself something to eat."

"We will dad, but I asked mom if there was something she wanted, and she said maybe another soft pillow. Mine's the softest in the world so I'm gonna take it to her."

"An' I think she wants maybe to read something fun, so I'm gonna give her my mostest favorite comic book in the world, Batman and the Blob."

"Yeah, she'll like that one Bobby, it's a good one."

"And I see you're back too Suzie. And what did mom think of your soup?"

"She liked it fine dad. And she said I should get rid of this stinky sandwich, but not let the boys know. Do you want it?"

"I'll take it and dispose of it later Suzie. Thanks.... Now what are you doing. Why are you pushing me?"

"Mom's sick and someone's got to do the dishes. You're at work all day and the boys are too little. So I guess it's up to me. So move over, you're blocking the sink."

"Yes, hmmm, yes. Martha! I just discovered something. They're right!"

"Who's right George? Cough, cough. What are you talking about?"

"They say kindness is contagious. They're right. It just needs a spark under it to get it started!"

6Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Prov 22:)

15The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. (Prov 29:)

20Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. (Col 3:)

1Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. (Eph 6:)

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