Life with the Philistines
the devils also believe, and tremble.
Hello all you folks out there in radio land. This is your announcer Herald Promulgate bringing you another adventure of Life with the Philistines, that normal family everybody loves to imitate. Let's look in on the Philistines and see what they're up to today, shall we?
In today's episode we find Mrs Philistine talking to someone at her door. Listen:
"Certainly. Come on in. Have a seat and I'll be with you in a minute. Would you like a glass of tea?"
"Yes, that would be very nice. Thank you Mrs Philistine."
"Just call me Martha. And your name is?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, my name is Nosy Pry. But everyone calls me No."
"Pry, hmmm, Are you by any chance acquainted with the Inquisitors and the Interrogatives down the street No?"
"Yes, they're my next of kin on my mother's side of my father's family."
"Well, do make yourself comfortable No. Do you take sugar in your tea No?"
"Yes I do. Thank you Martha."
"And now No, what questions do you have for me today?"
"I'm conducting a survey of Christians in this area to learn what they believe in. You are a Christian, are you not Martha?"
"Yes I am No. I've been a Christian all my life."
"And do you attend church regularly then Martha?"
"Oh yes No. I never miss a Sunday if I can help it."
"And your husband Martha, does he attend regularly also?"
"Yes he does No. But not as frequently as I and the children do. Sports you know."
"Yes, I know Martha. I have one of those too. And your church, is it Protestant in denomination?"
"Yes it is No."
"And do you believe in the importance of faith for your salvation Martha?"
"Oh yes No, very much so."
"And do you believe that belief is the same thing as faith, which is essential to your salvation?"
"Oh yes No, I do indeed. That is what my church teaches and I do believe in saving faith."
"You believe what your church believes. Do you believe everything your church teaches is true and accurate Martha?"
"Oh yes No, absolutely. My church is right on the money. You can bank on that."
"Thank you Martha. Now moving on to more secular questions, do you believe that the world is a better place to live now than it was say a hundred years ago?"
"Oh my yes No. A hundred years ago they didn't have TV or soap operas or washing machines or anything."
"And Martha, do you believe the world will be a better place to live in the future if it continues in the direction it is going?"
"Oh yes No. No doubt about it. Look at how much better off all of us are than our grandparents were. Such an improvement."
"And for my final question, do you believe that Coke is better than Pepsi?"
"Oh my yes No."
"Now to make sure I understood your first answers, I will ask you again. Do you believe that faith, that is, belief, as you understand belief, is what will save you, that is, your soul?"
"Oh my yes No. Absolutely."
"Well, thank you Martha. And have a good day. Incidentally, do you have a pen? Would you like me to leave this with you in case you would like to contact me later? It has my name and phone number on it."
"No No, no pen. Yes, I would like that No. Thank you."
17Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone. 18Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: show me thy faith without thy works, and I will show thee my faith by my works. 19Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble. 20But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead? (James 2:)