Meet the Plebes


I will not make mention of him, nor speak any more in his name.

See that shanty on the corner, near the railroad tracks? The one with a collection of rusted automobiles and lead pipes. Yes, that's the one. There lives Lanslo and Honeysuckle Plebe, the neighborhood handyman. Let's go meet the Plebes, shall we?

In today's episode we find Lanslo and Welter Ferret sitting on the back stoop talking. Listen:

"Well little buddy, it's been a spell since I seen you. What you been up to of late?"

"Um, nothing Mr Lanslo. Nothing at all."

"Nothin'? You? Maybe you done heard me wrong. I says, what has you been a doing lately?"

"Nothing Mr Lanslo. I haven't been doing anything at all."

"Le'me get a good look-see at you young feller. Raise your head up a mite. That's it. Yep, you's Welter ok. But what's got your tongue t'day? You hidin' something from me?"

"No Mr Lanslo, why did you ask me that?"

" 'Cause usual you is talkin' a blue streak. T'day I gotta' use a prybar ta' get nerry a word out a' ya. That's why I ask."

"I know, Mr Lanslo. I talk too much. That's why I'm practicing saying just as little as I can, so I won't be so verbose."

"So's you won't be so what? What's that there word you used mean young feller? Sounds ta' me like something what spilled out of a dictionary. 'Splain yourself."

"Verbose means a person who talks too much and uses too many words to say what they're trying to say. I don't want to be like that, so I'm trying to learn to say just as little as I can. Now do you know what I mean Mr Lanslo?"

"Yep, I knows what you mean Welter, but I don't know why you done said what you said about yourself. Why does you think you're....that word you said? Who done told you you talk too much?"

"Lots of people Mr Lanslo. Lots of people tell me that."

"Lots a people don't know they's toilet from a swimmin' pool Welter. I don't thinks you talk too much. We talks Bible. I likes ta' talk Bible, you likes ta' talk Bible. Just who is it what says you talks too much?"

"Well, there's Mr Smith over there, and there's Mr Brown, and there's Mrs Jones. Those are some of the people who said that. There's others, but these people are right here on this street."

"I thinks you done got your meanings tangled up Welter. Folks says things without givin' there words no thought. And it's hard ta' make sense a' what they're sayin' when they does that. Words is like straw an' diamonds son. What is good for one fella ain't always good for another. A feller who's trying to feed his livestock ain't got no use for no diamonds, and a feller what's got no cow ain't needful of no straw. You gets my drift Welter?"

"Um, no, I don't think I do Mr Lanslo. What does diamonds and straw have to do with words?"

"Well, you says Mrs Jones over there tending her garden says you is too talkative. Well, you just mosey over there and talk to her about her prize petunias. What you suppose would come of it?"

"I suppose she'd like that Mr Lanslo. She really likes to talk about her garden. I've been there before."

"An' Mr Brown over yonder, putting his fishing pole in the back a' his truck. What you reckon he'd do if you was to go talk fish with him?"

"I'd be stuck there for hours Mr Lanslo. You get Mr Brown and Mr Green together and they can talk fish all day."

"And start back at it in the morning if'n I don't miss my guess. Now, Mr Smith up the street a piece, stuffing his golf clubs in his car. What you suppose he'd like to talk ta' someone about does you suppose?"

"I'd say golf Mr Lanslo. He loves golf. But what's your point?"

"My point Welter is people likes ta' talk about what they likes ta' talk about. Try talking ta' them about something you likes ta' talk about and' they'll say anything ta' shut you up. You'n me we likes ta' talk Bible. They don't. I don't tire a' you talkin' Bible at me, so I got no call to call you ver...., whatever that there word was you said. Now you go ta' talking about somethin' I don't know about, nor that I don't got no hankering for, then I'll call you ver, ver, I'll call you that word. Does you get my meaning Welter?"

7O LORD, thou hast deceived me, and I was deceived: thou art stronger than I, and hast prevailed: I am in derision daily, every one mocketh me. 8For since I spake, I cried out, I cried violence and spoil; because the word of the LORD was made a reproach unto me, and a derision, daily. 9Then I said, I will not make mention of him, nor speak any more in his name. But his word was in mine heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I was weary with forbearing, and I could not stay. (Jer 20:)

53And it came to pass, that when Jesus had finished these parables, he departed thence. 54And when he was come into his own country, he taught them in their synagogue, insomuch that they were astonished, and said, Whence hath this man this wisdom, and these mighty works? 55Is not this the carpenter's son? is not his mother called Mary? and his brethren, James, and Joses, and Simon, and Judas? 56And his sisters, are they not all with us? Whence then hath this man all these things? 57And they were offended in him. But Jesus said unto them, A prophet is not without honour, save in his own country, and in his own house. 58And he did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief. (Mat 13:)

54When they heard these things, they were cut to the heart, and they gnashed on him with their teeth. 55But he, being full of the Holy Ghost, looked up stedfastly into heaven, and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing on the right hand of God, 56And said, Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of man standing on the right hand of God. 57Then they cried out with a loud voice, and stopped their ears, and ran upon him with one accord, 58And cast him out of the city, and stoned him: and the witnesses laid down their clothes at a young man's feet, whose name was Saul. (Acts 7: see also Acts 4:18 & 5:40)

8Now go, write it before them in a table, and note it in a book, that it may be for the time to come for ever and ever: 9That this is a rebellious people, lying children, children that will not hear the law of the LORD: 10Which say to the seers, See not; and to the prophets, Prophesy not unto us right things, speak unto us smooth things, prophesy deceits: (Isaiah 30:)

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