the word "rules" throw you. What do I know about rules? Mostly this
section is about ideas you might consider and try.
tell you a little story: Once when I was very young I worked busting
tires at a Sears store. My foreman, who had his right arm missing from
the elbow down, instructed me on how to replace a slit-rim truck tire.
informed me that it was because he went against the rules that he lost
his arm. This young, rebellious youth (meaning me) paid very close
attention to what
he was showing me.
have any missing body parts as yet. If someone tells you something
contrary to what I suggest, listen to him. I don't know what I'm
about. I'm just a newbie trying out my aged wings, winging it as they
say, and sharing what I've come up with so far.
Read the above.
Rule 1. Keep
fingers, toes and other body parts out of saw blades. Think of this:
Rule 2. You're
a man (I'm assuming here). Men don't like to have others have to care
for them. So keep your hands and other body parts out of saw blades.
smells good (sometimes), but in the lungs it ain't good for you. That
applies to other woods as well (including plastic), so wear a mask.
This is especially important when making fine sawdust with sanders and
such. That stuff goes everywhere. I find it layered on the back of my
clothes, in the front of the house when I'm working in the back
of the house, everywhere. Don't let your nose be one of those places.
It's hard to sweep out, I know, I tried.
Rule 4. Keep
your mind on what you're doing instead of that pretty girl on the tele.
That little pinky finger doesn't stay where you want it. While you drag
that project over the table saw or through the band saw, it's
just liable to try to test the sharpness of the blade. (Refer to rules
one and two above).
all I have for now. If I end up with some missing body parts I'll add
to this list of do's and don'ts (unless it's my typing finger I lose).
WOODWORKING RULES AND SUGGESTIONS
Idea 1. SURFACE DISORDERS: See
those abrasions and scratches on the project you're working on? How
about the bare spots on the veneer of your office? Can't
the stuff they sell to make those spots go away? Try this, take some of
Junior's colored pencils and attempt to duplicate the parts around the bald
spot. You might be surprised with what you come up with (a coat of
varnish over the top of the pencil alterations might work. I don't
know, I haven't tried that yet. Colored pencil is wax, so the varnish
might not stick). You say Junior's
colored pencils are in school with him? If you can remember the number
of his classroom, sneak in and borrow them when he's not looking. Be
careful that you don't wake the teacher, remember what happened the last time you woke
FRAMING AND MOLDING: Knowing you're an excellent picture framer guy, I
suspect even you
sometimes come up with corners on your frame (or molding, or whatever)
that don't quite come together. That goop they sell at the store for
five bucks a pop, and that's for only one color, and not the color you
need, is out of the question. Try this, go to Junior and see if you can
beg, borrow or steal his crayons (if he's finished his latest
masterpiece on your living room wall). If he balks and refuses to let
you use his crayons, tell him that if you break one you'll buy him
another one when he turns forty. Probably won't work, but it's worth a
shot. The stuff they sell in the store isn't much different than the
wax they use in crayons. You want something a little softer that blends
easier, but still comes in lots of colors? Try Craypas (registered
trademark), obtainable in any store where they sell art supplies (I
hope). It's softer and goes into those cracks a bit better.
A thought, I haven't tried this yet. If crayons are to hard to work
with, remember they're nothing but a stick of colored wax. Try
heating them, but not in the microwave or with a propane torch. Then
again, that might work as well. What do I know? I never tried it.
3. MORE OF
on molding and disobedient frames. If the crack or separation is small,
or needs to be smaller to be filled, here's an old framer's secret
trick. Take a wood dowel about the size of a pencil, sharpen it like a
pencil. Use the edge of the sharpened part of the dowel and carefully
roll the edges of the frame toward each other. If the separation isn't
too large this could well make your frame appear as if it had been
professionally assembled. Don't try this on those plastic covered
frames as they are very brittle and will crack unmercifully. The wood
dowel you hold in your bandaged hand also serves as an excellent tool
applying the stuff you decide to use for filling the corners of your
DIMPLED WOOD: You have a dimple in your wood project that insists on
spite of all your efforts to be rid of it? You could try sanding off
the valuable finish that encases the dimple, but your wife would kill
you if you ruined her great-grandmother's valuable center piece. Here's
an old woodworker's trick for bringing that dimple to the surface.
Place a wet rag or sponge on the spot and allow to sit for several
hours or longer. If that doesn't work (and probably won't if the wood
is coated), all is not lost -- yet. With
a hypodermic needle, inject a small amount of water into the dimple.
The moisture will cause the grain of the wood to rise while not
effecting the rest of the piece. Warning however, try this on one of
those frames you ruined before attempting to repair that valuable
antique wall cabinet.
A note on antiques: Any repair you make to an antique will destroy its
value. It's better to try and make an antique look older rather than
newer (a word of advise from someone who knows nothing whatever about
CRAFT RULES & IDEAS
PHOTO PHOEY'S: I don't know if this will work on the new digital
photographs, but the
old, traditional way of developing photos was to soak them in water,
sometimes for hours. Old photos love the water. However, photos also go
contrary when a little moisture is applied to them, such as when
they're stored in a humid area or when they're stacked a bit damp.
These photos that were so cooperative in the past become glued to one
another tighter than Aunt Bessie's corset. What to do? First rule, never
try to pull them apart. The emulsion will only tear away from the
cardboard base it's attached to. Do this, soak the pictures as a unit
in a tub of water. Let then set for days if needs be. This should
cause the pictures to cease acting like Siamese twins and be as good as
new. This trick can often be used to dislodge other substances such as
glue and the like. If this doesn't work, you might try applying a rag
soaked in alcohol to the back of the pictures. And if that doesn't work,
don't tell your wife I
told you to do it. I've got enough problems of my own without having to
deal with the problems I make for you.