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Doctrine in dialogue format

 

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Busybody Reports

BAH HUMBUG

He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved.


"Hi-de-ho everybody. This is Michael Jay Busybody in the home of Mr Dubious Heterodox . Mr Heterodox has the distinction of being the most stubborn man in the state. Is my information correct Mr Heterodox? Are you in fact the most stubborn man in the state?

"Absolutely young fella. I take pride in my stubbornness. I work hard at being unbendable and bullheaded. These things don't come natural you know."

"No Mr Heterodox, I was unaware of that fact. I was always of the misguided opinion that stubbornness was a gift. I'm always glad to be set straight when I am found to be in error. Tell me Mr Heterodox, I understand that today you broke your own record for holding out against all odds and allowed yourself to be baptized. Is this correct Mr Heterodox?"

"I'm embarrassed to say that it is. They caught me at a weak moment and before I knew it I was in the water over my head. Things like that happen you know."

"I suppose they do Mr Heterodox. However from what I've been told the advantages that come with such a slip in character such as the one you made comes with some highly advantageous rewards. What do you think of this Mr Heterodox? Do the rewards you received offset your having fallen from grace in regards to your stubbornness record?"

"Rewards? What rewards you talking about? I was probably waterlogged when they talked about the rewards. I like rewards. Tell me about the rewards I got."

"I'm referring to you having been provided with an assurance to eternal life and the avoidance of that other place I'm not allowed to mention on the air. Such benefits as these surely must cause you to experience less regret for having failed to live up to expectation."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"I understand it's customary for one being baptized to read or quote something called the Sinner's Prayer. I assume you did the same Mr Heterodox?"

"So they tell me."

"So they tell you Mr Heterodox? Don't you remember this momentous event?"

"Nope. I was drunk."

"Then I suppose you don't recall your attitude at the time you recited the Sinner's Prayer. Did you mean what you said at the time Mr Heterodox? I understand sincerity sometimes has a bearing on one's salvation. Were you sincere sir?"

"Sure, why not. Yeah, I was sincere."

"Thank you Mr Heterodox for this most enlightening interview. Well folks, there you have it, an interview with a most stubborn man."



13But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived. (2Tim 3:)

16He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned. (Mark 16:)

16And, behold, one came and said unto him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life? 17And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments. 18He saith unto him, Which? Jesus said, Thou shalt do no murder, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, 19Honour thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 20The young man saith unto him, All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet? 21Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me. (Mat 19:)


 

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