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Doctrine in dialogue format
FOLLOW THE HORSES
let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.
"Hi-de-ho everybody. This is Michael Jay Busybody at the races with Chance Starcross. Mr Starcross, you say you've discovered a sure-fire system for playing the horses. I'm not one to gamble, nor have I been to the tracks before. But you've apparently been enjoying a spectacular run of luck of late, so I couldn't resist taking you up on your invitation to watch a master at work. I see the horses are being led to the gates. What now?"
"Thank you for joining me Mr Busybody. Of course I wouldn't normally divulge my secret, certainly not to a news man. But I've made my fortune, so I thought I'd share the wealth, if you know what I mean."
"That's very gracious of you I must say Mr Starcross. Now, for your secret if you don't mind. The riders are about to mount their steeds. I hate to rush you but I only have time for one race then I must call it a day. So if you'll get on with the show sir."
"Certainly Mr Busybody. There, you see that priest blessing the horses? That's my cue. Watch now, he's about to bless a horse. See? That horse he's sprinkling's pulling odds of five to one. That means if I bet that horse I've got a good chance of losing what I bet. But if I win I'll walk out with five times what I bet. Get it? It never fails, the horse that priest blesses wins every time. There, he's going to another horse. Let's see which horse he blesses this time."
"That's quite a system you have Mr Starcross. It sounds rather farfetched to me, but your system seems to be doing you well, so who am I to criticize it?Ah, yes, he's approaching... he's approaching... Mr Starcross, are you sure you want to follow your system this race?"
"You bet I am Mr Busybody. Yeah, I know, that old nag he's about to bless sure needs a blessing or something. But like I said, it never fails. That mule is odding out so high the number's off the chart. I can't pass this chance. I'm laying everything I got on him. Hawaii, here I come!"
"I think you're making a mistake Mr Starcross, but I guess you know what you're doing. I'll wait here until you've placed your bet."
"Ok, I'm back, and the race is just about to start. I made it just as the window was closing. What luck. Ah, there they go.... Hey! What's going on here? My nag dropped dead at the starting gate! I'm ruined! I've got to check this out. That old priest's done me dirt. Here he comes, I'll..."
"Mr Starcross, it's not the priest's fault you lost your money. After all...."
"I know, I know, I just want to.... Hey! You. Mr priest! I want to talk with you!"
"Yes my son? How can I help you?"
"I got to ask you a question. Every race you blesses a horse and the horse comes in first. Isn't that right?"
"Yes, that has been my fortune as of late. Why do you ask?"
"Then why didn't it work this time? Why'd the last nag you blessed die at the gate? What's going on here anyway?"
"Bless? I'm afraid you're mistaken my son. I didn't bless but one horse this race."
"Yes you did, I saw you plain as day. You took that, whatever it is and sprinkled in on that old nag. And the nag died on me. I saw you, don't tell me you didn't do what I saw you do."
"That's the trouble with you Protestants my son. You don't know the difference between a blessing and a last rites."
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