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Doctrine in dialogue format

 

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Busybody Reports

PEOPLE WATCHING

that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God.


"Hi-de-ho everybody. This is Michael Jay Busybody on the corner of Broadway and Main, Anytown USA with Ima Watcher, author of the best selling book Watching People. Miss Watcher, you have indeed written an interesting and informative book. Considering the business I'm in I found it difficult to put down. Tell me Miss Watcher, have you been people watching long?"

"All my life Sonny, all my life."

"And that would be how many years Miss Watcher? That is, how old are you, if you don't mind my asking."

"Don't mind a' tall Sonny. I'll be turning a hundred and two next month. Yep, that's one-aught and a two. That's a lot o years Sonny, a lot a years, and a lot a folks being watched."

"That is indeed a lot of years Miss Watcher. And is there anything special you attribute your longevity to?"

"Shore is Sonny. Shore is."

"And would you mind sharing your secret with me and my listening audience Miss Watcher?"

"No secret Sonny. I owes my long living to three things, a pint a whisky, a cigar, and a derringer in my bra."

"A pistol in your bra Miss Watcher?"

"Yep. I was a frisky dame in my younger years. Got more room to carry the thing now, and less cause to need it. But habits die hard Sonny, yes they do."

"I see. Well thank you for that valuable information Miss Watcher. Now about your book on people watching. I wonder if you would give us a first hand view of you in action. For instance, that young man over there with hat worn backwards. What would you say about him?"

"Nothin' special now days. But a piece back wearing a cap backwards was a sign a being a gangster, like the baggy pants and the bandana that's so common nowadays."

"Times have indeed changed. And Miss Watcher, that young girl in the short dress and a cigarette in her hand. What would you say about her?"

"Can't rightly say Sonny. Fifty year ago I'd a said she was a street walker. No decent girl would a been caught dead with a dress like that. And even the young fellers who gave a hoot about they's self wouldn't 'a been seen smoking. Now days even the little 'ns smoke cigarettes and weedright out in the naked air. Times has changed Sonny. Harder 'n harder to tell the good guys from the bad anymore. Yep, harder an' harder."

"I agree with you Miss Watcher. It is getting harder. Ah, there we go Miss Watcher. Those young folks with the tattoos and the rings in their nose. What would you say about them?"

"Hard to tell Sonny. Might be Sunday School teachers for all I knows. Times they is a changing, yep, they's a changing."

"I see. Speaking of Sunday School Miss Watcher, I wonder if you could tell us about what church a person goes to from their appearances. For instance those you said might be Sunday School teachers, that is, the ones with the baggy and torn clothes, tattoos and now a cigarette in their hand. What church would you say they belong to if any?"

"Hard to say Sonny. Time was when it was easy to spot the church goers 'cause they was all dressed up so pretty like. Now days I cain't tell if they's going to church or a rock throwing concert. Fact is, the way the churches is today they ain't much difference. But if you was to hold my toes to the fire I'd say the young'uns was one of the Evangelical or Fundamental church goers. If you was to give 'em a guitar and a set a drums I'd be rightly near sure they was one 'a them two, or something near like the two."

"How fortunate we are that this is Sunday afternoon and churches are letting out. I see a small group of people venturing into a restaurant carrying books that appear to be Bibles. What would you say of them Miss Watcher?"

"Ain't many churches use Bibles no more Sonny. Some do though still yet. Hard to tell, but I'd say they was Catholic, old school Catholic would be my guess."

"And what would you base your opinion on Miss Watcher?"

"They're clothes for one Sonny, and their necklaces."

"I see. Ah, look, by the department store. There's a family all dressed up, even the very small boys are wearing suit and tie. What would you say of them Miss Watcher?"

"JW or Mormon Sonny. No doubts about it."

"You have no doubts Miss Watcher? And why may I ask is that?"

"Only ones who dresses decent now days Sonny, 'xcept Amish, an' they ain't Amish. Time was ever'body duded up for church. But those times is long gone Sonny. Times they's a changing. Have I said that before? Times they is a changing."



1I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. 2And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Rom 12:)


 

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