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Doctrine in dialogue format
"I don't know Mort. Let's just start out and see where we ends up."
"I ain't that late Mort. The program's not started. 'Sides, it's a perty day out there and I just kinda lingered along, if ya' know what I mean."
"It is a purdy day at that Elmer. Hesh up now, or guest is comin' up the street. Be polite-like now. No bad mouthin' him just cause he's the mayor."
"We gots Mayor Huffenstuff today? How'd you hornswaggle him ta be on the show Mort?"
"Don't take much. The mayor done loves to talk ya know. Loves ta hear his self talk."
"That he do Mort, that he do."
"Greetings fellow constituents. Beautiful day we is havin' today, isn't it? Beautiful day indeed."
"Mort, how you expect me ta talk kindly to the mayor when he goes an calls us names like he does?"
" The mayor ain't called you nothin' Elmer. That's the way highfalutin folks talk. Ain't it Mr Mayor?"
"Shore it is Elmer. All I said is howdy. Nothing ta get untangled about. Nothin' at all."
"Ok then, I s'ppose. Yeah, the weather is fine an' dandy alright. I was just tellin' Mort about it. And it's got me a tad scared I'm here ta tell ya."
"Scared Elmer? Why has the good weather got you scared?"
"It ain't the weather so much Mort. It's the weatherman bein' right three days follerin' the other. Unnatural is what it is. Next thing ya know the poli-tical fellas will start tellin' the truth, and then where will we be?"
"Hold on there Elmer. I'll have ya' know that I's a politician my own self. So don't go spoutin' off about the politicians."
"You is a poli-tical Mayor Huffenstuff? I thought you was a mayor, not no poli-tical type fella."
"A mayor is a political fella, I mean, a politician. They's one an' the same. And I'll have you to know that I got aspirations. I's goin' somewheres."
"You are? I'll be dogged. Does it hurt much?"
"Hurt Elmer? Does what hurt?"
"That place you said you is goin' because you got aspirin ta take. Why you gots to go somewheres jus' cause you is takin' aspirin?"
"I didn't say aspirin you ninny. I said I got a aspiration. That means I is gonna make somethin' of myself. I plans on being gov'ner of this here state some day, maybe even president of the whole US of A."
"Gov'ner a' this state I c'n see alright. I got those kinda aspirins myself. But you ain't got nothin' but a forth grade edje-cation, like I has. You can't make yourself no presee-dent?"
"Maybe not Elmer, but I c'n have aspirations."
"That reminds me Mr Mayor. I has been wonderin'. How does you keep your job as mayor when you done got such a dad-blamed awful record as you has? I mean, you has made more blunders in yer admin-i-stration than anyone I done ever heared of. And you just keep gettin' 'lected. How you do that?"
"It's easy Mort. I just tells the folks what they want ta hear."
"Yeah, you is good at that ok. But there's somethin' else I been wonderin' about. You is a preacher-man, ain't you Mr Mayor?"
"That I am Mort. In fact I is the preacher of the biggest church in this here community, maybe even the county. Why? What question you got ta ask me about my preachin'?"
"Well, you done hit on what I was wonderin' right there Mr. Mayor. You is this here big preacher-man, an' you got lotsa' folks listenin' ta what you says with yer words. But as I hears it you ain't so good with the Word. How you keep folks comin' back ta hear what you gots ta say when you ain't got nothing worth a spit ta say?"
"That's easy Mort. I just tells 'em what they wants ta hear."
3For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; 4And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables. (2Tim 2:)
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